The 5 Love Languages

I have had a love/hate relationship with the 5 Love Languages for many years.  In no way I am demeaning author Dr. Gary Chapman, for I am certain he has more wisdom, training, and practice than I do.  To the concept's credit the 5 Love Languages serve as great short-hand for getting people to understand their similarities and differences, how they give and receive love, and so on.

On the other hand, they can be too superficial, transactional ("If I love you your way than I can expect you’ll love me my way"), and most importantly, they are limiting.

If we take the 5 Love Languages concept to its full destination then we learn and practice the expression of love that enriches our spouse’s heart and hopefully our marriage.  That is good, to a point.

Yet it dawned on me how woefully short this falls of our Christian duty.

Question:  Why should I stop with fulfilling my spouse’s needs, desires or even their definition of what will satisfy them?

As a child of the Most High, I should be learning from Christ the full longitude and latitude of love … in all its forms and expressions, regardless of if my spouse recognizes them.  I want to grow in love because Christ is Love; and to not be satisfied by only what others may consciously desire.  All humans fall short of knowing God and therefore fall short of knowing what true love is; as defined by God, Who is love.  Therefore, my learning and practice of love should be primarily with an eye to the imitation of Christ and not what my spouse’s likes or dislikes are.  

In this way we will show our spouse a greater understanding and depth of what they should truly long for; the love of Christ working itself out in our personal relationships.

Greater than being an instrument of satisfaction, is to be an instrument of sanctification.  As I've said before, we can receive no greater compliment than to hear, "I am closer to Christ because of you."